As busy moms, it’s so easy to put self care at the bottom of our list of things to do. We tend to overlook taking care of ourselves, especially because self care can be accompanied by guilt and shame. Shouldn’t the kids be put first? Especially if they’re struggling, stressed, or need support?
When it comes to questions like these, it’s important to remind yourself that taking care of yourself first does not make you a bad mom. Need to read that again? Go ahead, we’ll wait.
In an effort to make it easier for you to accept that your needs are a priority, we’ve put together our list of 4 tips that will help you make self care more approachable and accessible. Because trust us when we say you need it and deserve it, mama.
1. Ask yourself what you really want.
By taking the time to dive deep into your wants – like what a perfect life would look like for you – you can begin to manifest a positive shift in your life’s momentum. What would a perfect life look like, feel like, be like? When you have a clear idea of what a perfect life entails for you and your family, it’s time to ask yourself “what single, simple thing can I do today to get me closer to the life I would love living?” This doesn’t have to mean selling your house or quitting your job or investing thousands of dollars into a new hobby, but maybe it means taking more time off, or having more date nights, or trying a new sport.
Once you’ve identified something small that you can do, step forward and do it. Send an email to request a day off. Schedule a date night on the calendar. Sign up for a volleyball league. Taking action will get you one step closer to the life of your dreams, and it’s one of the greatest ways you can take self care into your own hands today.
2. Stop running away from feeling good.
Oftentimes, moms feel undeserving of self care, so they tend to run away from opportunities to relax or unwind. They chase chores, errands, or look after the kids instead of taking advantage of free time to rest. Instead of running away, look for opportunities to sit in your favorite spot – inside or out – and just relax. Soak in the weather, think of a few things you’re grateful for, and just exist. Sometimes we find a sense of peace, sometimes we cry, sometimes we think through our goals. No matter how you spend this time, try to avoid overthinking about the next thing you have to do that day, or the next stressful event on your agenda. Enjoy the moment, and then do it again tomorrow.
3. Prioritize learning new things
When was the last time you pushed past your comfort zone in order to try or learn something new? By taking time to seek out and invest in books, courses, classes, and activities that allow you to grow and expand your skills, you’ll feel a newfound sense of freedom and energy as you simultaneously invest in yourself.
Looking for new things to try? You can take dance classes, cooking lessons, investing courses, public speaking events…the possibilities are endless! Your brain
will thank you for giving it the opportunity to discover new interests and learn new things.
4. Connect with close ones.
We can be professionals when it comes to avoiding our check-ins with friends and family, flaking out on plans, or taking our support systems for granted. But when you make and find the time to connect with your loved ones, you might be surprised to find yourself feeling more fulfilled and cared for than ever. Whether it’s a standing 7am call every Saturday, lunchtime walks with a neighborhood friend, or a monthly dinner with your family or friend group, it’s important to make time for the people who lift you up. Thanks to technology – like FaceTime and Zoom – it’s easier than ever to spend time connecting with your people, and while it requires a commitment to a schedule or holding space in the calendar, you’ll find that the benefits are well worth it.